E True Hollywood Story:Emperor Palpatine
by Alexa Wessner
Summary: Ever wonder what happend when Palpatine was a child. Secrets revield on E True Hollywood Story:Emperor Palpatine. Oh yea I forgot the disclaimer. I don't own Star Wars so don't sue me.


E True Hollywood Story: Emperor Palpatine  
  
Palpy- I guess you think I'm just some kind of psycho trying to take over the galaxy. If that's what you thought, than you are wrong.  
  
Palpatine was born on December 29th 1947 to a family in a small home in Kansas. He was an average child physically, but had many fights and didn't get along with other kids. When he was four, he tripped his preschool teacher and knocked her unconscious. He then started climbing on the wall trying to imitate Spiderman. He had stolen other kids Beanie Babies during nap time.  
  
  
  
As the years went by Palpatine was seven years old. Many kids thought he was a loser and called him many names. He had grown to 6 foot and wasn't going to grow any more. He Had thick glasses and couldn't get contacts until he was nine. His face was aging and people commonly mistaken him for a 23 year old. An ugly 23 year old. Kind of like Luke in Empire Strikes Back. Palpatine didn't want to be the school loser. He was called Palpy the ugly falpy, which was a made up word for stupid. He much rather be called Palpatine the mean washing machine.  
  
  
  
The mean torture went on for another two years. When he turned nine, he was becoming more normal. Palpatine got contacts, which he would then have colored red in Return of the Jedi. More kids were growing close to 6 foot when he was eleven and he started to fit in more. Still he was kind of tall and people still called him names, but there were people under him. So he was average.  
  
  
  
A year later Palpatine was twelve and there was a storm coming. He was out on the farm feeding the cows and chickens so later they could eat them, when it got dark and windy out. He dropped what he was doing and ran inside. They lived in Kansas but didn't have the money for a cellar. His parents were inside with him and together they saw the tornado come closer and closer. Finally it struck. His parents were blown away by the storm and Palatine was rising off the ground. He was sucked right up into the storm. He was in the storm and he was given a power. Powers to shoot electricity from his finger when he got angry with little girls claiming to be a Jedi like their father. He was spit out of the storm and it had ended. His parents had washed up on his front lawn and their dead corpses were all torn up and bloody. They were rotting and were being eaten by maggots.  
  
  
  
Palpatine was so upset he dropped out of school for 2 days. He went up to girls and forced them to say they were Jedi's like their father. Then he would kill hem with his lightening. People now feared him and he was the master of school. Today his Junior High, tomorrow the galaxy.  
  
This went on for his teen years when he discovered he was a natural leader and wanted a job where you dictate and boss people with respiratory breathing problems around. He had applied to the college of his choice and was accepted. It was the University of the Empire. There he had gotten famous. When he was 26 everyone feared him at the college and many towns around that area. He was even on the cover of the Imperial Times.  
  
  
  
He graduated from college when he was 30 and began on a job search. Palpatine really wanted to work in the Empire, but there wasn't one yet because he would have to make it after the Republic fell. He settled for Janitor of the Primary School cafeteria. He spent years working his way up. Finally he was promoted to the senate when he was 45.  
  
  
  
There was a new Queen elected. She was 14 years old but was not the youngest queen. In fact she had just taken the place of the 7-year-old queen who started out when she was 2. Still in the senate, Palpatine wanted more in life. The queen was young and he could probably manipulate her to elect him chancellor. And that's what he did.  
  
  
  
Palpatine was a Sith lord and had taken on an apprentice called Darth Maul. He had killed the Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn who's apprentice killed him. 10 years later still the chancellor even though the queen was now in the senate, he took on a new apprentice called Dooku, or Lord Taraunus. He now went by the name Darth Sidious.  
  
  
  
Two years late Anikan Skywalker killed Dooku using he Dark side of the force. Palpatine manipulated him to be his apprentice like he manipulated the Queen who is Anikan's wife. Together they killed the Jedi and had the Jengo Fett clones use as the Empire's army. They put the clones in new armor that looked like eggshells and made an Empire. Anikan now was in a breathing suit because he fell in the lava pit in Episode 3 now he went by Darth Vader. Together they made a Death Star that could blow a planet up. Now he was an Emperor.  
  
  
  
The annoying brat, Luke Skywalker, Anikan and Padme's son or should I say daughter, blew up the Death Star. Three years later Luke got more powerful and the Emperor wanted him on his side. He was getting Vader to do it. A year later Luke was 24 and finally surrendered to Darth Vader, now knowing he was his father. Emperor Palpatine tried to make Luke turn to the Dark side but the little brat was to stubborn and kept whining that he wanted his mommy. He tried to use his sheer annoyance and finally Luke grabbed his lightsaber and started fighting. Emperor Palpatine watched as Luke and Darth Vader fought a Man to girl fight. Luke finally got pissed off and used the dark side to cut off Darth Vader's hand. Emperor Palpatine was pleased and told Luke to take his father's place at his side. Luke replied, "No I'll never turn to the Dark side. You failed your Highness, I am a Jedi like my father before me." Luke said those last words which Palatine had gotten a power to shoot out lightning witch as the reason he was popular. Years ago he got that power and now it came in use, he shot lightning out of his shriveled up fingers and enjoyed frying the screaming baby.  
  
  
  
Luke dropped on the ground crying in pain for his father, letting out glass shattering screams. Emperor Palatine enjoyed the torture he was putting on the brat and smiled like a vicious cat. Vader couldn't take any more of his son's girlish screams and sadly lifted up Palpatine and threw him over the edge putting an end to him. Vader didn't do it for Luke, or in hate of Palpatine, he did it for himself. He couldn't take his son howling like a wounded animal being eaten alive by blood thirsty baboons. This is why Palatine is no longer with us today. It is the fault of girlish Luke because he had to scream like a girl and get our beloved Palatine killed. In loving memory this is the E True Hollywood Story of Emperor Palatine. 


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